Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
