I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
