Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
