okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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