I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
