my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He kissed a someone with a penis
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
