walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
