so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
