At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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