i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you made out with another girl for some wings
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
