whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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