she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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