i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
