If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
