So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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