He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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