you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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