SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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