420 ftw
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
