i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
