Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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