Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
