i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
