somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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