69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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