He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
