some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
