dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
