In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
