You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
