that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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