I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
