you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
