saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
