She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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