I wish I only lived at night.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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