areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
