And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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