Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just googled if crying burns calories
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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