The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My feet surprised me
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