i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
