also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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