Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
