Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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