I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
