i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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