I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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