I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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