textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
