we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
