he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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